My postal ballot finally arrived...

...and I was shocked to discover not one but two Welsh nationalist parties, a Communist and a Welsh Tory who lives in Croydon (obviously interested in the local vote there then). The most unbelievable candidate was standing as an independent was Judith Kilshaw.

Yes, the mad cow who about 'adopted' (read bought) twin girls on the internet in 2001 actually wants to represent the people of my community as an elected offical. This woman's husband is the founding member of a far right Democratic party who are totally against immigration yet he tried to buy two babies from America.

One consolation is that no one in their right mind will vote for this wretched woman.

I'm going to kick a few walls until I calm down.

I'm not a physicist...

but I do know one thing. Mess expands. It's true. All the useless rubbish that you own grows, maybe even breeds. Plus it always expands to slightly larger than the space available to contain it. If you get more space, more crap will appear to fill it. Also no matter how much stuff you throw away, more (and usually unexplainable) pieces of the detritus of modern life will appear to replace it.

I have dubbed this 'The Universal Law of Ever Expanding Crap'. Think I might well get the Nobel Prize.

I (like 99.9% of the population) am loving the new Doctor Who. Just the right mix of cheesiness and tension. But am I the only one who thought those Slitheen things looked a bit like Boobahs's gone wrong? Bloody terrifying. As long as they don't bring back the Cybermen, my fragile sanity should remain unshattered.

Go check out Girl Genius, now an online comic. Gaslamp fantasy fabness.

We all have days like this....

Click the pig

My ill advised aerobic adventure has left me ever so slightly crippled. Lactic acid is not my friend.

Good excuse to be lazy though, or to pretend that actually I ran the London Marathon on Sunday instead. A girl can dream.

What's black, and white and red all over?

Me, in my new gym kit, after an aerobics class!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially the most malcoordinated human being on planet Earth. It wasn't even proper aerobics, but LBT (not the sandwich, that's BLT) and I still spent most of the time going;

Left leg, arm, lunge, right, no left, ah FUCK IT!

Ever heard that saying 'pale and interesting'? The only interesting thing about being as pigmentally challenged as me is the how every time I do a bit of exercise I look like one giant aneurysm waiting to happen. I just can't help it. I am practically translucent at the best of times (flash photography has interesting effects) but when I run I turn a VERY odd colour. Not just my face and chest but also my arms and legs.

In future I will therefore only exercise by candlelight.

I do have a remedy for my clumsy exercise efforts, this only works outside the gym. But its fab. This cure all is MASSIVE sunglasses. Big Jackie O style sunglasses make even the most klutzy unkempt madam into an instant goddess. Plus if they are as large as mine then no can tell that your eyebrows need plucking or that you have dark circles.

Fashion genius!

I love it when a plan comes together....

Woot! I now have referees for my uni applications. Go me. Just have to write a personal statement now, which I hate. They always sound so lame....

"And in my spare time I like to devote my time to feeding the poor and trying to ensure world peace."

Or not.

The End Is Nigh!

The rivers will run backwards, the sun will rise in the west and all of civilisation is doomed. The unthinkable has happened, Nine Inch Nails played on CD:UK!

It made me weep to see the God-like Trent Reznor playing to a bunch of clueless teenyboppers. Why, Trent, in heaven's name, WHY?!?!?!

To make my day worse, Plague Monkeys have infiltrated the flat and infected me with their dread pestilence. OK, sure, it doesn't look like the Marburg Virus yet. But give it time.

On a plus note, went to watch Constantine today. Which is great and how fab does Sin City look like it is going to be? 42 flavours of great I should say.

Now I am going to crawl into a corner and quietly expire .

Take that Zombie PC!

Well, I finally have my connection back. The sooner I get my new PC set up down here the better!

Thanks to the good old Sunday Times, I got to see Sahara in the West End last Sunday for free . OK, so it is not going to win an Oscar but I enjoyed it. Much better than I did the books to be honest. McConaguhey (sp?) and Zahn are nothing like the Pitt and Giordino that Cussler writes, perhaps that is why I like them better. Steve Zahn steals every scene he is in and William H. Macy as Admiral Sandecker is just as well, I just love William H. Macy.

If you want to see a silly action flick with a good sense of humour, then go. Plus Penelope Cruz doesn't disgrace the girls, and plays a pretty feisty lady. Better than some Scream Queen American at any rate.

Right, now to apply for a new job.....

I quit - or at least I am going to.

Only spent three days in work this week, but it has added up to the worst one yet. Received a phonecalle this morning (Saturday) at half past 9. Something has gone tits up (not your fault, but you will be blamed) and you need to sort it out.

Hello! It's fucking Saturday. Fine I will attempt to sort out this stupid mess but no one else is working and I have no internet at home. Done the best I could with my meagre resources, and a very nice man on the other end of phone has done all he can. Sadly, not enough.

Whole incident ended with a teary phonecall to Daddy. Myself wailing 'Daddy, I want to come home.' A phrase previously only uttered during my final weeks of uni when I was in the grip of a not-so-mini nervous breakdown.

So now I sit in a internet cafe trawling for a new job and looking at uni courses. Nothing like being bawled at by your boss to crystallise your ambitions.