Going home for Christmas, Weeeeeee...............

I'm currently sat in my office, complete with suitcase (which has most of a Christmas hamper from M&S packed into it. Got a horrible feeling all my clothes will be covered in Christmas cake and Brandy Butter.

Oh well, at least I'll smell Christmassy.

As my suitcase is rather large and ungainly I took the lift in my building this morning (I live in a first floor flat, so it is usually not a problem plus I hate lifts). I was however slightly disturbed by the automated voice which announces which floor you are one. This are generally spoken in that crisp, Queens English we are all familiar with. Our building appears to have a lift possessed by a drunken Eastern European with a cold.

"Firrrrrrrrrst Fluuuuuuuuuuur." It slurred as it arrived.
"Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant Fluuuuuuuuuuuuur." As I quickly hopped out, slightly frightened by it all.

I prefer my lifts to be awake and alert, in future I will be taking the stairs suitcase or not.

Wish me luck on the train and hopefully there will be some holiday themed posts over the festive period. IF I ever make it home. :S

Merry Christmas everyone.

Shiny new hair! Joy to the world!

This is me before, this is actually quite a good hair day for me. Says it all really!



And this is me after, much sleeker I think you'll agree.

Today is not a good day....

Coming down with a cold and the stupid beautician who waxed my eyebrows last week didn't put any tea tree cream on it, so I am coming out in spots over one eyebrow. Begining to think it might be plague.

Ah well, getting my hair cut after which will hopefully help me feel human again. Since I've now discovered how to add photos, there may even be before and after pics. Ooooooooooooooooooo

As Christmas is coming, here is a festive photo from my fave festive film. Go alliteration! 

Santa baby, been an awful good girl...

Mind you after a couple of glasses of champers, I'm just plain awful.

Friday saw me at my terribly posh work Christmas party at the Langham Hotel on Portland Place. Yes, it is as posh as it sounds.

But I have seen my first celeb whilst being in London, albeit a minor one. While I was standing in the reception area of the hotel with some friends, Craig Charles of Red Dwarf and Robot Wars fame walked. He's so short!

Anyway, the party was good. We had a champagne reception with canapes, and there were stiltwalkers and jugglers as well as a very good pianist.

The meal was fab, with the creme brulee paritcularly gorgeous and I even had coffee. To sober up after all the wine! For me, the highlight of the evening was the magician who came around the tables. I know I was half cut, but we all sat there gobsmacked at disappearing coins and cards that changed colour, top bloke.

The best trick of the evening however, was to be found in the hotel bar. To make a £10 note disappear, all you had to do was order a vodka and orange. Poof! Off goes the cash, never to be seen again. Bastards!

Closer, but yet so far

My flatmate (the one who actually lives in the flat) works for Sky, and as such got free tickets to see the new Jude Law/Julia Roberts flick 'Closer' at the Sony Europe headquarters. Mint!

Free food and booze and a variety of odd types on show. Wanted to slap one girl, a mock-boho arty type who was prattling on to her bemused mate (with much cigarette waving) about how 'Establishment' a friend and her boyf were.

I fucking hate people who use the word 'Establishment' to describe someone who happens to be conservative. By the way love, wearing a beret and several floaty scarves does not make you 'Anti-Establishment'. It just makes you a twat who thinks middle class rebellion is SO NOW. *Rant ends*

Later on as I went back to the bar (free food and drink at this shindig dontcha know) a strange old man started talking to me, the conversation went approximately like this;

"Have you seen the first Fockers film?"

"Pardon?" *At this point all I can think is that either he is saying a rude word in a funny accent or there is a new film about WWI German fighter planes out.*

"The new Fockers film is screening now, you know with Ben Stiller."

"Oh! Meet the Parents!" *Now relieved that a new war film is NOT coming out, flatmate is German might be awkward*

"Yes, have you see it?"

"No, not a Ben Stiller fan." But he had walked away at this point and I was left looking like a fool. I skulked off with my wraps and Archers Aqua, whilst wanting to scream...

"I'm here under false pretenses! I'm a pharmacologist!"

But I digress, the film was (unexpectedly) very good. Not what I'd normally watch, but it was free.

Yesterday was a domestic day, I did washing, ironing, washing up and cleaned the bathroom. All whilst wearing 3 inch diamante studded stilletos. I am a domestic goddess.

Don't look at me like that, they needed breaking in.

Of Oxford Street and disaster movies

I made an emergency trip to Oxford Street on Saturday morning, to find an outfit for the office Christmas party which is this Friday. After 3 hours worth of serious shopping I managed to find something suitable.

But I was knackered when I came home that I fell asleep on my bed with the light on, the blinds open and my music playing full volume.

Shopping is hard work.

After I'd woken up, I watched 'The Day After Tomorrow'. There is something oddly comforting about disaster films, in that you can always tell (with the exception of Mr Heston in Earthquake, not that I cared. Guns don't kill people, my arse.) who is going to live and who will not make it to the end credits. Take Day After Tomorrow;

Homeless Man With Dog.....

Live! (It was the dog that swung it, they always survive)

Main Character's Sidekick who has been his loyal companion for over 20 years.....

Death! (Should've been less loyal)

Anyone with a handicap or disease that looks like they won't make it......

Live! (Only the disaster claims victims, not cancer/septaecemia etc)

Anyone who does not listen to the hero's heartfelt pleas to listen to him....

Death! (Are you mad?!?! He's the hero, listen to him for God's sake!)

One thing which did freak me out with Day After Tomorrow was when Emmy Rossum's characterhas a fever. The librarian uses a book to determine from her symptoms are caused by blood poisioning.

"That's septaecemia!" She declares triumphantly.

Easy love, this is not a cause for celebration. Far too excited about one of her comrades against adversity having a potentially life threatening illness. Weirdo.

How not to be elegant #2

The council have put down new tarmac on the pavement outside our flat. Whilst walking in high heels, I managed to put my foot on the one uneven spot.

Two seconds later and suddenly the ground was a lot closer than it had been.

It was dark OK!

I am so poised.

Neglected

Sorry blog. Work has been mental busy, but as my email isn't working so I can sneak a quick post in.

Not much to report, except the horror of the Secret Santa. Of all the people in the office, who do I get stuck with.....yes......that's right.........

The Boss!

Not even the head of my department but the head of the whole office. Fuck! The budget is only £5. Double fuck! And I can't swap. Fuck to the power of infinity!

But this is what I got him. Clicky.

This weekend might just be one of enforced hermitude..

...due to having a spot on my face large enough to have it's own gravitational pull.

Excuse any typos in this post, it's difficult to see what I am typing with this paper bag over my head.

I must return to wallowing in misery, *sniff*

23 days to Christmas

Scary that, just over 3 weeks. Present buying is almost done, just my flatmates to sort out. Then my least favourite Christmas task, Christmas cards. Also need to wrap presents, this usually means me getting myself sellotaped to something by accident.

Oh the hilarity!

but my parents did send me an advent calender! It has Thomas the Tank Engine on it, I feel an inner child moment coming on...

Yesterday was a good day for parcels as my order of the new Gwen Stefani album also arrived. Altogether now.....You're still a super-hot female!............