Conversations of a Game Employee

The following conversations have been repeated in a variety of forms over the past month;

Customer: Do you have any PS2s in stock?
Me: Yes, several at the front of the shop.
Customer: No, I want a PS2.
Me: They are at the front of the shop.
Customer: No, I want the new one.
Me: Do you mean a PSP?
Customer: No, a PS2. The new one. The handheld.
Me: It's called a PSP.
Customer: Do you have any in stock? It's my son's/daughter's/significant other's birthday next week.
Me: Did you preorder?
Customer: I didn't. Can I still get one before next week?
Me (trying to contain my derisive laughter): I am afraid we cannot even confirm if all our preorders will be filled by Christmas.

Customer: Do PSPs play films?
Me: Yes. Either downloaded from your computer or from a UMD film disc.
Customer: Does it play DVDs?
Me: No. Only UMD discs.
Customer: What a ripoff. Why not?
Me: PSPs are a handheld console. DVD or CD discs are too large to fit.
Customer: Does it play PS2 games?
Me: No. As I said only UMD discs.
Customer: What a ripoff. Why not.
Me (whimpering softly and curling up into a foetal position): Please leave, before I set the Nintendogs on you.